Rediscovering the Heart of Mercy

We are so  honored to be with you each day sharing hope. Our outreach has grown at a tremendous pace. We are averaging over 100 new subscribers a day. We just past 104,335 in followers. That’s because people are searching for hope and we provide it.

We are in a new promotion. The person who is our 105,000 will wins some nice prizes. We are only 665 away from our next goal . It goes very fast so don’t miss out. 

_____________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of Signs of Hope, is writing  a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, PTSD, and many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. We need to help stop those statistics. Be looking for more updates about the new book. 

________________________________________

+ Update! The book has been sent to my editor recently. Now I wait and see how many red marks she will have in it. 🙂

There will be some incredible interviews with veterans in this book. Up to twenty different veterans agreed to let me ask them some very personal questions. Some answers will have you in tears.  Some are actually humorous. 

_______________________________________________________________

Glad to have back Linda Clare. She speaks from the heart, and sometime it is gut wrenching such as today’s post. Learn from a mother who has addicted children. 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

Rediscovering the Heart of Mercy

Linda S. Clare

When my son, who’s been a meth-addict most of his adult life, burst into the kitchen, the pot of water for spaghetti noodles was already at a rolling boil. He was boiling mad. Only a kitchen island lay between him and his younger and shirtless brother as they traded insults. The kitchen knives gleamed ominously in their block, as if waiting for one of the boys to snap. It was the hottest day of the year and the most violent behavior I’d ever witnessed from my meth-addicted son.

What they were fighting about, I didn’t know.

I kept my gaze on the boiling water, as my middle child threw food, shoved the toaster off the counter and ranted at his brother. We’d had trouble with fist fights before—mostly late at night when younger bro was drunk and his older sib was high—but this time was different. Meth can induce psychosis, but in the past, he’d always stopped short of attacking me. This time, if he pushed the pot of water off the burner, his brother and I would have serious burns. I prayed the knives would stay in their slots. I was petrified of my own son.

The cords of his neck bulged as he literally foamed at the mouth. We each told him to leave several times, but he wouldn’t back down as he screamed obscenities. No amount of pleading or negotiating seemed to help. My husband finally locked himself in the bathroom and called the sheriff. It was a pretty bad day.

For decades now, I’ve been astounding my friends and relatives by my repeated failures to use Tough Love effectively to drive my three grown sons to recovery. I know I can’t change their minds, and believe me, I’ve tried. Pros call me an enabler and codependent and it’s true. I can’t seem to “kick them out to the streets” so that they can hit bottom, any more than I can take my misbehaving pet to the pound. If I’m responsible for “crippling them” as one friend put it, I am guilty of lots of other no-nos too.

Part of my reasoning has always been that my addicts/alcoholics also have mental health issues, which complicates everything. But more importantly, until now their violence stayed in the realm of sibling rivalry. This time, psychosis and violence teamed up like the New Testament demon who caused that poor guy to fall into the fire. To keep calm, I tried to remember Bible verses.

Over and over again, Jesus asks us to love. To forgive seventy-times-seven. To turn the other cheek. Show mercy and we will receive mercy.  No condemnation. Love not punishment.

How do you show love, forgiveness, or mercy to someone who is psychotic? He wasn’t even making sense. He ran out as the law arrived.

The policeman who responded was courteous but emphatic. We were to toss both these guys out on their ears—today—and go to court for a restraining order in case they weren’t happy about leaving. The cop advised my husband and I to go live our lives and to let our sons go work on their problems any way they could.

I objected, citing their clear need for mental health services, next to impossible to get without a pot of money at the end of the rainbow. Social services strained beyond belief are why so many mentally ill wander the streets unless they go to jail. Self-medication is often the result of untreated mental illness. But this cop insisted the mental problems would go away if my sons got clean.

I wasn’t so sure. Questions rolled through me: What would happen to him on the street? He has little in the way of education, job skills or ways to take care of himself. But if he stayed, what about the feud with his brother? More violence? I couldn’t let that happen.

My psychotic son finally left with nothing except the clothes on his back. He needs help desperately. The system has failed him and millions like him, abandoning sick people to die a slow death from drugs, alcohol, unemployment, homelessness, hopelessness. That day, I felt pretty hopeless too.

But my stance on Tough Love also got an education. I’m pretty sure God’s plan for my life doesn’t include getting scalded by boiling water thrown by a psychotic meth addict. If he is this violent, he cannot stay. If he refuses or cannot gain access to drug treatment and mental health treatment, I can’t trust that another episode won’t happen. I am so sorry. For now, this may have to be the only love, forgiveness and mercy I can offer to him.

This side of heaven we may never know why such things happen. Evil wants to scare the love right out of me and you and anyone who tries to thwart its agenda. I have to stay safe but I won’t stop loving my sons. Or praying for their healing. I pray for wisdom yes, and courage. Courage to do the right thing, courage to stick to my decisions. Courage to keep loving my sons and my God, when a pot of boiling water or a butcher knife might be the last straw.

Today, as far as I know, my son is still alive. The situation breaks my heart but it could lead him to seek help at last. I have no optimism of my own—down here in the pits, everything seems miserable. My heart is a gaping wound.

But a broken heart is tender, fertile ground, where God’s mercy can take root. Mercy then picks up the shattered hope I’ve dropped and lovingly pieces it together again. Pieces me together again. Because He lives, as the old song goes, I can face tomorrow.  Yesterday, hope took quite a beating. But thanks to the toughest kind of love I’ve ever had to give, today it’s coming back strong.

 

Share This Post
Share

Time to Remember Family and Veterans

We are so  honored to be with you each day sharing hope. Our outreach has grown at a tremendous pace. We are averaging over 100 new subscribers a day. We just past 104,300 in followers. That’s because people are searching for hope and we provide it.

We are in a new promotion. The person who is our 105,000 will wins some nice prizes. We are only 700 away from our next goal . It goes very fast so don’t miss out. 

_____________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of Signs of Hope, is writing  a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, PTSD, and many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. We need to help stop those statistics. Be looking for more updates about the new book. 

________________________________________

+ Update! The book has been sent to my editor recently. Now I wait and see how many red marks she will have in it. 🙂

There will be some incredible interviews with veterans in this book. Up to twenty different veterans agreed to let me ask them some very personal questions. Some answers will have you in tears.  Some are actually humorous. 

_______________________________________________

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend. It is a time to remember those who have gone before us and protected our country, or to remember loved ones who have passed.

There are far too many stories to share on our fallen heroes. I will share about them but first, I will share about losing our family loved ones who have passed first.

My brother and I went out to the cemetery where our mother is buried. We go out every Memorial Day to stand silently by her grave, and bring back thoughts of good times.

Our mother was a hero to us. She was a single mom, back in the forties. That wasn’t very common back then. Other relatives shunned her. She did everything she could to provide for my brother and I. When she was off she would do a second job like being a waitress. On the weekends she went to the farms to hand weed the crops.  She never had a day off in her life up until she retired.

She made sure we didn’t feel poor. I still to this day can’t figure out how she bought us a house to live in, provide food to eat, and still keep us happy. Her treat each Saturday was to give us a dime so we could walk to the Hollywood movie theater and see those serial shorts and a movie. (I was in awe when the hero in the serials looked like he was dead in the clip we saw one week, only to have him make it somehow the next.)

My mother was Wonder Woman. She never brought attention herself. She always put us first in her life. I miss her dearly, but I know God has a special place for her in His mansion.

The war combat heroes are many. My book I am writing called, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and out of the Trenches of Life,” is full of heroes. I have written about many who talked to me on the phone and shared their story.

I have shared my experiences while deployed to Korea. I speak out against soldiers giving in to PTSD. I cry for those who are maimed and in wheelchairs. I share thoughts on how to survive in this not so friendly world.

One of the heroes I talked to I met accidently. I decided to stop a t Carl’s (Hardy’s) fast food. I got my meal and was walking towards my seat. I walked by a man that was obviously a Vietnam veteran and a Marine since he wore a hat that said so. I thanked him for his service, and eat my meal.

I watched him. He was in pain. He had a cane. He was bent over. He was younger than I was. He got up to throw his trash away, and I saw legs that couldn’t hold him up too well. He had a heavy limp. As he walked by me, I asked him if he would like to sit and talk with me for a few minutes. He had that look like no way man, but when I told him I was a veteran as well, he sat down.

I started asking him questions knowing I had to walk a thin line so I didn’t intrude into area he didn’t want to talk about.

Her is how the conversation went.

Me: Where and when did you serve?

Marine: I was on a helicopter ship off the coast of Vietnam.

Me: What did the helicopters do?

Marine: They sent supplies to troops; Carried troops from one battle station to another; sent food to the villages for the food who were starving.

Me: What was the worst moment you had while stationed there?

Marine: My very best friend was a helicopter flyer, and one mission his helicopter had a problem;  went off the end of the ship down into the water. He and another Marine were trapped in the helicopter and it went to the bottom of the ocean. The water was to deep to try to recover their bodies.

Me: So Sorry my friend. Were there any other bad moments for you?

Marine: When  we came home on the planes the people lined the terminal and called us names, and had signs that called us murders and other things.

I have more from this hero, but you will have to buy the book to read the rest of his story, (This is called a hook!) and many other from WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan

I want to thank all over our veterans and current military, for their dedication and service to their country. God bless each and everyone of you.

For those who have lost a loved one, like family, I feel your pain. I have been there. God is our strength, and our fortress. He will see us through the storms we face.

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

Share This Post
Share

How Do You Measure A Mom?

We are so  honored to be with you each day sharing hope. Our outreach has grown at a tremendous pace. We are averaging over 100 new subscribers a day. We just past 104,300 in followers. That’s because people are searching for hope and we provide it.

We are in a new promotion. The person who is our 105,000 will wins some nice prizes. We are only 700 away from our next goal . It goes very fast so don’t miss out. 

_____________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of Signs of Hope, is writing  a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, PTSD, and many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. We need to help stop those statistics. Be looking for more updates about the new book. 

________________________________________

+ Update! The book has been sent to my editor recently. Now I wait and see how many red marks she will have in it. 🙂

There will be some incredible interviews with veterans in this book. Up to twenty different veterans agreed to let me ask them some very personal questions. Some answers will have you in tears.  Some are actually humorous. 

_______________________________________________

 

How Do You Measure a Mom?

Measure defined means a unit or standard of measurement; the extent, dimensions, quantity, of something; any standard of comparison, estimation, or judgment; and so on. Some of the synonyms are model, example, scope, portion, scale, test, pattern, and gauge.

So, taking that into consideration, how do you measure a mother?

*by how tall she is?

*by the size of her brain?

*by the size of her gloves?

*by the size of her shoes?

Well, yes and no. As Christians, we usually use the ideal woman (or wife) description in Proverbs 31 as the standard of measurement. Her worth being far above rubies, so it says. In addition, verses 28-29 tell us:

Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words: “There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!” (TLB)

But how do you measure that?

*By their love for her in the eyes of her family, you can measure how tall she is.

*By the scope of her thoughts, words, and prayers, you can measure the size of her brain.

*By the extent of her giving and doing for her children, you can measure the size of her gloves.

*By where and how she walks, you can measure the size of her shoes.

I guess if we went by that, a valuable mom would then be very tall, have a very large head, and have large hands and feet. Well, I know that sounds silly. But not if you apply it spiritually.

I love this quote: “The measure of a woman’s character is not what she gets from her ancestors, but what she leaves her descendants.” ~ unknown

As a mother, how large am I, spiritually that is? How do I measure up to all this? How do I leave my daughter and my sons those values and character that I desire them to have? How do I make my husband and family proud of me and not bring shame to them? How am I an example to others?

To be and do all that is necessary, my life must mirror one pattern, one example, one standard…Jesus!

Other than the character traits of Proverbs 31, Paul listed several other traits in his letter to Titus.

The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5 NKJV)

All this, plus grace, strength, and faith, was passed on to me by my mother and my grandmother…so what am I leaving to my children? How do they see me? How do others see me? How am I being measured?

Not all mothers can stand the scrutiny of the ideal mother description. Not every mother will be “the best of them all.” Many come from backgrounds that did not supply the best conditions for learning to be a great mom. Others lack the communication skills to relate properly with their children. Therefore, trusting in the Lord becomes essential.

Proverbs 31 is the survey for which every mother should self-analyze herself. Is she following the Lord in all she does? We all as mothers fall short. However, having the desire in a mother’s heart to show love and care to her children is the beginning.

If you are a mother reading this, what are you passing on to your children? How do others measure you?

Mother’s Day blessings…

Lynn

lynnmosher.com

Share This Post
Share

Look in a Mirror. You See God’s Image

We are so  honored to be with you each day sharing hope. Our outreach has grown at a tremendous pace. We are averaging over 100 new subscribers a day. We just past 103,300 in followers. That’s because people are searching for hope and we provide it.

We are in a new promotion. The person who is our 105,000 will wins some nice prizes. That is only 1,700 away It goes very fast so don’t miss out. 

_____________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of Signs of Hope, is writing  a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, PTSD, and many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. We need to help stop those statistics. Be looking for more updates about the new book. 

________________________________________

+ Update! The book has been sent to my editor recently. Now I wait and see how many red marks she will have in it. 🙂

There will be some incredible interviews with veterans in this book. Up to twenty different veterans agreed to let me ask them some very personal questions. Some answers will have you in tears.  

_______________________________________________

Life is hectic! Life is too fast! Life seems to be leaving me in the dust!

Do any of those statements fit you? I know your pain. The earth seems to be spinning way too fast. There have been times when I felt I want to let loose and allow the world to throw me off of this planet.

Before I actually check out of this hotel called earth, let me share some things with you:

  • I have said this meaning times, but all storms stop and then there is the Son!
  • Everytime I face adversity I seem to grow. Though it is very hard, I am stronger.
  • When I see someone else who is hurting and I reach out to help them, its seems to help  me as well. If I bring a smile to their face, I have one on my face too.
  • If I fall into the muck and mire of life, God is always there to pull me out.

We need to know who saved us, and how He defines we are. Do you know who you are under God’s love?

Genesis 1:26-28

Let me put it this way. God created everyone of us in His own image. He doesn’t make mistakes. He created you for a reason.

You are very special. He didn’t create you like any other creature. We weren’t created to look like the animals of the forest. We weren’t even created to look like angels. We are totally created in God’s image.

We are more like God than any living thing.

Cling to this. Never feel you are inferior to anyone. God created man and woman and said there were create equal.

When you look in the mirror realizes that you are looking at God’s image. Be thankful he went as far as to create you in this way.

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never,ever, give up.

Share This Post
Share