How to Move From Your Home Called Depression

How to Move From your Home called Depression, and Step into a Resort Called Peaceville.

 

I had a great time today meeting with many retired teachers from the Albany school district. We all met at a golf club meeting room in Albany, Oregon, and enjoyed the fact that we didn’t have to report back to school today. (For those that live in India, Oregon is the most beautiful state in the United States, and you are welcome to come and check us out.)  The gathering is a yearly get together to see old friends, and gloat over those that still have to be in the trenches.

 

I was very fortunate to have permission from the organizer (Whata woman!!)  to pass out some brochures that I had made for my up coming book called, “Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind: Through Bumper Stickers.”

 

There were maybe 80 people there to meet and great. As I handed out the brochures, some of the people I talked to said they had been struggling with depression since they retired. They loved teaching so much. It was hard to close the door on it.

 

Others knew of someone else that was struggling with depression that weren’t teachers, but were also battling the affliction. I am finding this to be a common pattern where ever I am able to talk or hand out brochures.

 

So many people (19 Million) are silently struggling with depression or related demons. They do not do anything about it. It leaves them eventually because the person dies. There may be a war in Iraq, and Afghanistan, but there is also a different war in this world that some are losing.

 

How can we get off this train of despair? Why do we let depression overtake us? Shouldn’t we be happy with our family and love ones around us? Is there a way to climb out of the dreadful pit and have a productive life?

 

Let me share some thoughts with you, and see if you can see any light at the end of the tunnel.

 

1.     People seem to think that they will be embarrassed if they let someone know they are depressed. That couldn’t further from the truth! Don’t you think your close family and friends would jump in to help you, faster than a cat on a hot tin roof, if they knew you were hurting? Of course they would. Stop closing the door on others and wallowing in your own pity. Let people become your support system to get you out of your despair.

2.     Why do we let depression overtake us? Because we become very vulnerable to the dark side of life when we have something go wrong. We can’t just keep going as if nothing ever happened. We either deal with it, or we crash, like I did.

3.     Depression has many names by the way. It hides under the names of self doubt, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and self pity. They all are different names, but they are all symptoms of the Big Kahuna depression. All of those nasty critters push us into the lake of muck and mire, and we can’t seem to stay afloat. Don’t let this villain ambush you! Keep your eyes on the light side of life, and not on the dark side.

4.     The bottom line? Tell the bad guys to get out of Dodge, and let the good guys come in and help you ride off into the sunset of peace together.

 

One of the chapters in my book, “Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind: Through Bumper Stickers,” has a cleaver dream I had called, “The Gun Fight at the not so OK Corral?” It was an actual dream. I may have changed the dream a little (a lot) to be an inspiring story on how to fight all of these afflictions.

 

That is all you are going to learn now. You will have to go to my website, www.dougbolton.com (Cleaver name don’t you think?) and I promise it will be one of the first free excerpts you can read when you subscribe. The site will be up and running by Sept. 4th.  So go to my blog at, www.depressionsuppressed.com and stay tuned. I will be announcing the “grand opening” there.

 

In closing I want to say that I loved meeting all of my teaching friends, and I hope that you are having a wonderful retirement. Don’t sit down in the rocking chair just yet, (good place to get depressed,) and get out in the sun. Smell those famous roses. Climb that mountain you have always wanted to try. Go to France, and see some pretty funky cars. Take a walk on a hiking trial that has many wild flowers, and look very deeply. Did you know there are little critters walking around down there? They are glad to see you, so stop by and say hello! Go fishing, hunting, catch crab, (instead of being one) and you will see you don’t have an extra minute to be depressed. Depression will get tired of waiting for you to fall, and run away with its tail between it legs!!

 

Remember to check out the author website in six days. I will have a count down each day on this blog. I try to post every day, but I have been traveling (to Hawaii) and have been ill until last Sunday. (Had to have a pacemaker put in.)

 

Do not feel sorry for me. I will be posting later about how much fun I had in the hospital. Let me just say the nurses will never forget me. This should get you hooked.

 

 

 

 

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The Top 5 reasons Success Doesn’t Guarantee Self Worth

In 1993 the alternative-rock group Pearl Jam enjoyed huge success with its second album, entitled “Vs.” It sold 950,000 copies in its first five days, setting a new record. The previous record was 770,000 copies by Guns N’ Roses’s 1991 album “Use Your Illusion II.”

 

Pearl Jam lead vocalist Eddie Vedder made the cover of Time magazine.

 

You would assume all this success would make Eddie Vedder feel great about himself. Not so. “I’m being honest,” said Eddie, “when I say that sometimes I see a picture of the band or a picture of my face taking up a whole page of a magazine, I hate that guy.”

 

Success does not guarantee a feeling of self worth.

 

The Top 5 Reasons that Success does not Guarantee a Feeling of Self Worth are:

 

1.     You can’t always seek self worth by being in the public eye. People will scrutinize you no matter how careful you run your life.

2.     Success will not buy happiness. Many times we are caught in that trap of thinking, “If I could only make $100,000. dollars a year I would be very happy. Not always true.

3.     Some of the loneliness people in the world are celebrities. They never have any private time. They never are at home. They have little time for family. All this because of the tremendous success they have. This all leads to depression and lack of self worth. The divorce rate among the rich and famous is extremely high.

4.     Some people develop low feelings of self worth through broken homes, abusive parents, or lack of friends. They view success as something that was not meant for them.

5.     Often people have a high level of what they feel success is. If they don’t reach the top of what ever they are doing, they feel they are a failure.

 

The way to stop all this madness of feeling that you have to be so successful to be happy is to realize that success is in the eye of the beholder.

 

A.   If you can set small goals and reach them you are a success.

B.   If you provide for your family, and you are keeping a good standard of living, you are a success.

C.   If you have children that grow up as good citizens, and good parents, you are a success.

D.   If you are healthy, and are living a good life, you are a success.

E.   If you have friends who care enough to keep in touch, and you know they will always be there when you need them, you are a success.

 

Stop the vicious cycle of trying to keep up with the Jones’s, and live your own life. Enjoy each day. Start now!

 

Go to my blog and read other posts on how to live a happier life. You can do this through learning of ways that can build you up, and carry you through the rest of your life.

 

Doug Bolton

www.depressionsuppressed.com

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What a Fun time I had at my 50th Class Reunion

I am taking a time out from my regular postings about beating depression, and share with you my experiences of going to my 50th high school class reunion last night.

It is always great to get back with the friends that you made in high school. It brings back good, and bad memories. I saw some classmates I hadn’t seen in 50 years! I guess you know they looked a little different. It was a good thing we all wore name tags!

There were a few that you recognized right away, because they stayed trim, and didn’t change their features very much.

From my old neighborhood, were several classmates that I was in school with from the first grade on. Can you imagine that? It was over sixty years since we all started grade school together.

(No the schools were not a one room schools for all the grades. We had nice schools with wonderful teachers.)

I remember Miss Ames, my fourth grade teacher. I had a huge crush on her. Of course so did all the other boys in class. She was so caring, and was very patient. And she taught us a lot too. That was 58 years ago. There is a chance that Miss Ames is still with us, and if she somehow reads this. I would love to hear from her.

As my wife and I sat  at our table last night, different people came up to me and said, “Do you remember me?” I, of course, said “sure I do”, and then look at their name tag. If it hadn’t been for that name tag I would have been in deep trouble.

Some of the “jocks,” didn’t look like jocks anymore, but they still were popular at the reunion. They brought back the memories of the pride we had in our sports programs.

They were playing 50’s music like: the Everly Brothers, and Fat’s Domino. They played songs like, Earth Angel, Peggy Sue, Bye-Bye- Love, and Cathy’s Clown.

That brought the most memories!! I remembered how shy I was in high school! I didn’t have one date the whole time I was there. (I know I really changed haven’t I)?

I came very close to asking one girl out for the senior prom, but I withered quickly when I saw her coming down the hall. She was at the reunion last night and I spoke to her several times, but never mentioned my cowardness in high school.

I took time to go and look at the display board we had over in the corner. It was a sad board. It had pictures of those that passed away since we last met. I as looked at the names, tears flowed, because some of them were very close friends. Friends that I never had a chance to say good-bye to. Many were very young when they did pass. Some were in car accidents; some had cancer or heart attacks.

I especially remember two of the guys.

 Bob Hawk, and Ray Oliver. Bob was a fellow Christian that went to church with me. He would give you the shirt right off of his back. God took him early. Someone told me last night that he thought he died on graduation night.

Ray Oliver and I were in choir together. We were even in a talent show together. We sang “Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes….” We sang to a “girl,” up on a ladder except it wasn’t a girl. It was one of our buddies dressed like a girl. That might not go over very well these days, but the students loved it back then.

As I looked at all of the friends that have gone, I thanked God right on the spot for sparing me this long, and I made a vow to enjoy life even more after I left.

Memories, are one of the things that can help you through depression. Dwell on the good things from your past. Remember the wonderful friends you had when you went through the grades. See if you can find them again. Go to the reunions and bring back your youth for one night.

It worked for me. I sat with a couple guys from my old neighborhood, and I said, “Do you remember when we tried to crawl all the way around our grade school at the second floor window level”? We only had the little cracks in the bricks to cling to. We were playing, “I dare you!” We braved the crawl around the second floor because we said, “Double dare ya!” We couldn’t back down then. We made it, and even today, I wonder how did we came out of that alive? We must have thought that death was for someone else. We were fearless.

I am so glad I went to the reunion. I found that the friends I had back then were still my friends today. I found out that many of them lived right in my home town. We made promises to meet more often, and plan a reunion every year from now on. Our time on this earth is getting shorter.  To have some close friends to share that time with is priceless.

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The Top 5 Ways to Support Someone in Mental Need

I thought I would let you know that I am going to be gone for a couple of weeks. I am leaving in the morning for Hawaii. (I know…name dropper!) I will be back the 14th. Feel free to make comments to the posts that we have now. I will be back, refreshed, and ready to hit the road running….walking fast….maybe crawling.

Have a good week, and here is my next How to….

 

When people are broken emotionally, they need others to support them until they can stand alone again. I have been there myself, by contemplating suicide in 2001. I was broken. There was no fighting life left in me.

 

Let me share a physical way of support, and then give you the top five ways to support someone in mental need.

 

Medical researchers have developed a bone-bonding compound that illustrates the help we can give others.

 

The chemical compound looks like toothpaste. Once injected into the body, it hardens in ten minutes. In twelve hours it reaches the compression of natural bone.

 

A study in the journal Science found the compound virtually identical to natural bone crystals. The compound so closely resembles real bone that the body does not reject it. Weeks after being injected into the body, the cement is replaced by real bone.

 

According to the Associated Press, clinical trials “show the material has allowed patients to discard casts early-or altogether-and to resume walking more quickly and with less pain.”

 

That is one way to support the human body.

 

Here is the top 5 ways to show support for a person’s mental needs:

 

1.     Be the strength they need to walk against the storm. Shield them from outside pain or suffering.

2.     Help them to realize that they are a person of self worth, and will be able to climb the mountain of life again. Be their pillar of strength.

3.     Share with them times you needed support, and what it meant to you. This will let them know that they are not alone.

4.     Tell friends to stop their gossiping that may hurt the person you are supporting. They need to know they may need support someday also.

5.     Just be there, and be a friend. No long discussions, no hugs, no philosophical advice. Just be there and listen. I can’t tell you how many times I have received help and my friend/wife didn’t say one word.

 

Use all of these ways of support to be a help to others in your life. Use them to help yourself also.

 

Go to my blog to see past posts on how to swim in the quicksand of life. Read what others have done to keep their head above water. Share what you have done to walk down the path of loneliness, hopelessness, anxiety, etc.

 

Doug Bolton

www.depressionsuppressed.com

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