The Top Five ways to Ruin Your Children

* A side bar here……Read actual excerpts from my book, Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind Through Bumper Stickers, by going up to the top of this site and click on my other site www.dougbolton.com.  Click on the icon on the right side bar, and then put in your email address. You will then start receiving my newsletter that not only has excerpts from the book, but it will have some of my adventures while I traveled the last few years. It also has sports, and a resource page that gives you information about the afflcitions I talk about on this site. Use both sites to help you cope each day. The book is full of ways to conquer the villians: self doubt, anxiety, fear, depression, and even hopelessness.

The Top Five Ways to Ruin Your Children

They are scenes that paint a startling picture of the drug culture’s legacy on American home life: A teenage girl shares her hopes and dreams with her mother—as they binge on methamphetamines. A boy bonds with his father over a marijuana-filled bong.

For the vast majority of families, scenes such as these are hard to fathom. But counselors who deal with teen addicts across the USA say that parents’ complicity has become a significant factor in putting kids on a path to drug dependency.

A new survey of nearly six hundred teens in drug treatment in New York, Texas, Florida, and California indicated that 20 percent have shared drugs other than alcohol with their parents, and that about 5 percent of the teens actually were introduced to drugs—usually marijuana—by their moms or dads.

Citation: Donna Leinwald, USA Today (August 24, 2000), p. 1A

 

It happened during one of those Rockwellian moments: a grandmother making cookies with her seven-year-old granddaughter. The kind of moment a grandmother wraps around her like a handmade shawl, to keep her warm months later, when the smell of Snicker doodles no longer fills the kitchen, and the child has returned to another time zone.

The little girl, the grandmother noticed, was engrossed in the flour. She had a knife and, with the intensity of a sculptor—a sculptor whose little tongue suggested she was deep in concentration—carefully shaped the fine powder into a pattern of neat, narrow lines.

How cute, the woman remembers thinking. Then the little girl looked up at her. “Look, Grandma,” she said, “this is how Mom and Gary cut their cocaine.”

Citation: Bob Welch, Where Roots Grow Deep (Harvest House, 1999), p. 118

 

In her new book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Judith Wallerstein writes about the negative impact divorce has on children:

Children in post divorce families do not, on the whole, look happier, healthier, or better adjusted even if one or both parents are happier.

National studies show that children from divorced and remarried families are more aggressive toward their parents and teachers. They experience more depression, have more learning difficulties, and suffer from more problems with peers than children from intact families. . . .

[Being the child of a divorced family is] feeling sad, lonely, and angry during childhood. It’s traveling on airplanes alone when you’re seven to visit your parent. It’s having no choice about how you spend your time and feeling like a second-class citizen compared with your friends in intact families who have some say about how they spend their weekends and their vacations. It’s wondering whether you’ll have any financial help for college from your college-educated father, given that he has no legal obligation to pay. . . .

It’s reaching adulthood with acute anxiety. Will you ever find a faithful woman to love you? Will you find a man you can trust? . . . Not one of the men or women from divorced families whose lives I report on in this book wanted their children to repeat their childhood experiences. . . . They envied friends who grew up in intact families.

Citation: Judith Wallerstein, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (Hyperion, 2000); submitted by David Whitney, Annapolis, Maryland

 

Parents love to have children, and watch them grow, but grow into what? Our society has taken on a huge misconception as to what kind of values they can show their children and expect their children to survive.

 

The 5 top Ways to Ruin Your Children are:

1.     The first way to ruin you child is to try telling him that everything is fine, and not to worry about tomorrow. You should not show him the world through rose colored glasses. He will have to face life without you some day, and then it will be a harsh awakening.

2.     Have a cigarette in front of your child. Children learn most of their traits from their parents. What traits do you have that you think might harm your child in the future? Even the simplest thing as smoking in front of them will most likely lead to them smoking too. The same thing with drinking.

3.     Get a divorce. This can ruin a child. The after effects have shown to have a negative impact on a child. The child is more aggressive; seems to have more learning difficulties, experiences more depression, and suffer other problems that other children may not face.

4.     Make sure you also smoke pot and take cocaine in front of your children. They will want some too.

5.     Tell them that they aren’t worth anything. They will believe you.

 

You will be quite successful if you follow this plan. Million of parents are doing it all over the world. You can see how successful it is just by looking at how full the prisons are.

 

Go to www.depressionsuppressed.com to see other posts on depression, self doubt, abuse, anxiety, suicide, and hopelessness.

Also visit my author page at: www.dougbolton.com and check out some thoughts on my new book Close Encounters Of the Heavenly Kind: Through Bumper Stickers.

Doug Bolton

 

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The top 5 Ways to Handle Adversity

                 Top 5 Ways to Handle Extreme Pressure

 

Jay Kesler writes in Campus Life:

 

There are two ways of handling pressure. One is illustrated by a bathysphere, the miniature submarine used to explore the ocean in places so deep that the water pressure would crush a conventional submarine like aluminum can. Bathyspheres compensate with plate steel several inches thick, which keeps the water out but also makes them heavy and hard to maneuver. Inside they’re cramped.

 

When these craft descend to the ocean floor, however, they find they are not alone. When their lights are turned on and you look through the tiny, thick plate-glass windows, what do you see? Fish!!

 

These fish cope with extreme pressure in an entirely different way. They don’t build thick skins, they remain supple and free. They compensate for the outside pressure through equal and opposite pressure inside themselves.

 

Sooooo…..

 

The Top 5 Ways to Handle Extreme Pressure are:

 

1.     You don’t have to be thick skinned to handle pressure. You just need to accept things you can not control, and use your inner pressure (strength) to help you handle it.

2.     99.5% of the things we worry about never happen. Always think of this when something serious jumps up at you. It probably will never happen, and you will be fine.

3.     Take pressure on as a challenge. Yes, it is in the fast lane, and you have to be careful with the traffic (adversity), but win the race, and you will be that much stronger when you succeed.

4.     The inner strength you have can be combined with others that want to help you. Use them to help you handle the pressure, and you will find a new closeness develops.  You will win the battle against pressure at the same time.

5.     Always remember that there is the strength of God who is there and willing to be there for you any time you need Him to help you with pressure.

 

Think about these things and come up with your own list of ways you handle pressure. Go to my blog and share with others how you handle pressure. You have the knowledge of what things cause pressure in your life. Tell us how we too can defeat all the pressure we face.

 

Doug Bolton

Email: doug@dougbolton.com

Author site: www.dougbolton.com

 

 

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The Top 5 Ways to relieve Stress

                The Top 5 Ways to Relieve Stress

 

For years many people thought that stress causes ulcers. Maybe it is spicy foods? Coffee? Nope. The following article tells the rest of the story.

 

According to Daniel Haney of the Associated Press, those excuses are wrong, wrong, and wrong. For years, that is what doctors presumed caused ulcers, but in the early 1980’s two doctors-Barry Marshall and Robin Warren-discovered a bacterium in the lining of the digestive system that they suspect might be the real cause. The bacterium is called Helicobacter pylori.

 

The proof of Marshall and Warren’s idea was slow in coming, but by the early 1990’s-after some two thousand articles had appeared in medical journals on the subject of the bacterium-gastroenterologist agreed with them.

 

“It turns out that about half of all U.S. adults are infected with              H. pylori,” writes Haney. “Most don’t get ulcers. But when ulcers do occur, the bug is probably responsible for 8o per cent or more. The only major exception is ulcers triggered by aspirin and some other pain killers.

 

Nevertheless, most people suffering from stomach discomfort don’t go first to a gastroenterologist; they go to their family practitioner or general internist. And news about the real cause of ulcers has been slow to reach them. Instead of prescribing and antibiotic that would cure the problem, many persist in prescribing acid-blocking drugs that may heal ulcers temporarily, but in time they often come back.

 

Interesting article…. I personally went through this. In about 1978 I had a vicious “ulcer.” My doctor put me on baby food!! Yes, the same Gerber jars of baby food that your child eats. I also had anti acid pills, etc. The “ulcer” eventually went away, but I still had severe stomach problems until two years ago when they finally discovered that I had gall bladder problems. I had gall bladder surgery, and I am fine now.

 

People seem to get only temporary relief for their emotional problems too. So here are some ideas to relief stress:

 

                  The Top 5 Ways to Relieve Stress

 

1.     Always look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. So many people are so pessimistic. The sky is falling attitude will cause a tremendous amount of stress.

2.     Stop and smell the roses. I have four rose plants in my back yard, and when I go out on the patio to read, the fragrance is wonderful. Take time to see what helps you to relax. I always come in from the patio refreshed. It is like getting away from the world, but you are still in your own back yard.

3.     I have mentioned this more than once, but go on a jog, or a fast walk. The stress goes flying out of you as you are doing this. I have my best days after I do my fast walk. I feel energized, alert, and ready to take on the day. It only takes about a half hour. Plan to do it early in the morning if possible. It will set up your whole day.

4.     Find a quiet place inside of the house in case the weather is nasty, and you can not get out onto the patio, or go on a jog. Make this “your,” place. Tell the rest of the family that while you are there, it is off limits to contact you by any way what so ever, except for a full emergency. Read a book, or write a journal. Escape the world for a few minutes.

5.     Go to your favorite place near you like the mountains, a lake, or the beach. Be somewhere that you can take in deep breaths, and not cough!! Do not plan anything when you get there. Just shop, walk, sit, or sleep.

 

Stress only happens because you let it. Many of our emotions like stress, depression, anxiety, or fear are brought on from our own thinking. If we can fill our minds with good stuff, and toss out the bad, your day will be something you can look forward to.

 

Check out my website and learn about the new book, Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind: Through Bumpers Stickers. Interesting title, and an even more interesting book.  

 

Doug Bolton

www.dougbolton.com

 

 

 

 

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The Top 5 Ways to Always Get up After you Fall

The Top 5 Ways to Always get up after you Fall

 

You have been there, it seems like a trial always comes into your life to test you by knocking you down. One person said, “It’s not the fall that is hard, it is the getting back up again.” Well, if you think you have it bad, listen what a new born giraffe goes through.

 

In A View from the Zoo, Gary Richmond tells about the birth of a giraffe:

 

The first thing to emerge are the baby giraffe’s hooves and head. A few minutes later the plucky newborn is hurled forth, falls ten feet, and lands on its back. Within seconds, he rolls to an upright position with his legs tucked under his body. From this position he considers the world for the first time and shakes off the last vestiges of the birthing fluid from his eyes and ears.

 

The mother giraffe lowers her head long enough to take a quick look. Then she positions herself directly over her calf. She waits for about a minute, and then she does the most unreasonable thing. She swings her long, pendulous leg outward and kicks her baby, so that it is sent sprawling head over heels.

 

When it doesn’t get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again. The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby giraffe gets tired, the mother kicks it again to stimulate it efforts…..

Finally, the calf stands for the first time on his wobbly legs.

 

Then the mother giraffe does the most remarkable thing. She kicks it off of its feet again. Why? She wants it to remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they’d get it too, if the mother didn’t teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.

 

We go through many of the same things. We learn from our falls. They make us stronger. They help us to be aware of the reasons we fell before.

 

So here are the top 5 ways to always get up after a fall:

 

(A couple nights ago, Senator Biden, the Vice President nominee for the democrats said it well: When you fall it is important to get up again, and again, and again. Never give up.)

 

1.     Think of the reason you fell. Was it something you could have avoided? Did you forget to work out the pitfalls before you plunged into the project? Always plan for the pitfalls; they are very deep and hard to climb out of.

2.     Did pride cause you to fall? This happens so many times to people that think they know all the tricks to get what they want. Even the top CEO’s seek advice from people they trust. That is how they got to be CEO’s!

3.     Being stubborn can also cause a fall. Just because you know you are right, and the other person is wrong, doesn’t mean that you have won. Quite often being humble and stepping aside to show the other person you have, “agreed to disagree,” will get you much further than not giving any ground. The other person may realize that they have actually lost, because you have used better judgment.

4.     Being an example will help you stay on top of the mountain. You can help others that have fallen. You can show them the proper way of handling tough situations. This will not only make them be stronger, but it will help you to feel a sense of accomplishment.

5.     Falling down has it good points. The knowledge you learn is invaluable. The bruises of defeat, lost jobs, broken hearts, missing friends, and ridicule, helps mold your life. You can look back and see the changes they caused in your life. They can be stepping stones to the maturity level you need to survive in this not so kind world.

 

You may have to be kicked and knocked down several times, like the giraffe, to be tough enough to get up quickly from a fall and find safety in a new setting.

 

Go to my author website at:

 

www.dougbolton.com

 

 You will see examples of survival in the excerpts of my new book, Close Encounters of the Heavenly Kind: Through Bumper Stickers, when you subscribe to my new newsletter that will start coming out in a few weeks. Then it will come on a regular basis.

 

There are many ways to keep your head above water. I have chapters on how I battled, depression, self doubt, fear of failure, and even hopelessness, and won. The excerpts will come in each newsletter I will be sending you if you subscribe.  You can subscribe to the newsletter by going up to the upper right hand corner of: www.dougbolton.com. Click on the subscription form there, and you are on your way. While you are on the site, make a comment. I need to hear from you!!

 

Doug Bolton

 

OUT!

 

 

 

 

 

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