A place to find Hope

Category: going through life alone

It is So Hard to Lose a Loved One

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It was so very sad to hear that a Navy Seal Officer was killed while training. My prayers go out to his family.

I have been there. I have lost several dear people in my life. My mother and father have passed. One of my brother-in-laws has passed. A friend, who was a groomsman at my wedding has passed.

I lost four students I had while teaching. I was very close to each of them. One was a suicide, which struck my heart even more.

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We may ask why God has taken them away from us. I can’t give you a good answer except that God is in charge, and He chooses when we go to meet him in heaven. The loss is hard, at best, to accept, but we must carry on in this earth. We are only here a short time compared to the eternity we will be living in heaven.

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Be strong. Stay the course and enjoy each day God has given you. You will see all those you lost again in heaven.

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Never be angry at God for His choices. Praise Him; love Him: and obey Him. He loves you more than you can ever know.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Death Has Ways of Pulling us Down Like huge Magnate

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I was posting on my other blog this morning at www.dougbolton.com, and I realized that I have lost close friends not only in the military, but in life as well.

The two in the military were in peacetime. My best buddy, who had signed up with me to go into the military, died of some kind of crude while in Korea.

The second buddy died right in my own platoon, also in Korea, He suffocated in a honey bucket. A honey bucket is where to locals put their human waste for fertilizer.

These two deaths were extremely hard on me.

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When I got out. I went back to college to be a teacher. I got a job in Albany, Oregon.

I lost three students during my career there.

The first one was a car accident. The boy had taken his mom’s car without permission and went on a joy ride. He was only 14 and had no license. As he was driving, he hit same loose gravel and went off the road. He was killed instantly.

The second student died right in front of me in the school. He had a massive brain injury. The last thing he said was, “I can’t see.”

The last one was suicide. He was a troubled kid, who kept getting into fights. I am guessing he didn’t like where he was in life, and ended it all.

So, I lost five people who I cared very much for. This doesn’t even include my own family members who have passed away.

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Have you been there? Have you lost friends and family?

You certainly are not alone. Many of us have had to face that.

How do I keep going after all the death I have seen?

  1. I thank God for each and every day I have on this earth.
  2. I love all of my family to the max.
  3. I keep in touch with old friends to see how they are doing. It cheers them up and I cheers me up as well.
  4. I pray for God’s protection which gives me peace and comfort.

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Never let the dark side overcome you into thinking the world is lost. Be strong and know God is with you. He can overcome any fears you may have. He will give you peace and comfort through the toughest of storms.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

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I was Suicidal Until God was With me.

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I told you yesterday that I had my first physical therapy for getting better balance. Well, something I had to do during the therapy injured my back. Now I am a lame duck. I will have to heal before I can go back.

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One of the things we most fear is that we are alone on this world. We feel isolated, and lost. We do not know where to go for help.

David in the Old Testament felt that way. He was suppose to be king, but Saul had other ideas. Saul was trying to find David and kill him. David ran and hid. He lived in caves, for fear he would be found and killed.

What a terrible existence.

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Have you been lost and fearful? Have you felt there was nowhere to turn to?

You certainly are not alone. Many of us have felt that fear of being alone. We have felt there was nowhere to turn to.

Let me share some thoughts that I think will give you hope and comfort.

  1. God is near in times of need. He can take care of all your worries and fears.
  2. God is sufficient in the times of need. He is capable of handling all your burdens.
  3. You need to be saying, God is mine in my time of greatest need.

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Never think you are alone. Never think God has forsaken you. He loves you and wants the best for you. You are His child.

I was alone and lost in the year 2001. I was ready to end my life. Then I realized that God was right there with me. That gave me peace and comfort. I made it through that day, and I am here today talking to you.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Storms Come; Storms Go, But God Will Never Forsake You

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I am still struggling with various health issues. Today it is severe shortness of breath, and dizziness. I could blame the dizziness on when I look at my beautiful bride, but the shortness of breath has me concerned.

My blood pressure is great. My heart capacity is at 36 which isn’t too bad for my age.

Something is not right though. Hope to find out soon.

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Our country is in turmoil. There is a 50/50 split in beliefs in the United States. Because of this nothing can get passed in Congress, and there are people suffering because of it.

We need to pray for our governments both national and local. Pray that they will make good decisions that will help the people, and not necessarily themselves.

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It seems to me that we all face storms these days. The storms may be a serious surgery coming up. It could be that you are out of a job, and there are bills to pay. It could be a break up of a relationship you have.

We need to remember that all storms pass. Then we have the SON.

Jesus is our fortress during the terrible storms we face. He can calm them down so we can handle them better.

When ever I know a storm is coming I pray ahead of time for God’s love, compassion, and protection.

Never take on this world alone. I can’t imagine trying to face my storms without God in my life.

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If you seem to have more than your share of pain and headaches from the daily trials of life. Turn them over to God. He has tremendous shoulders for you to lean on.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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We Often Get Angry and say Something we Regret

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Just got home from an all day trip to the Oregon Coast. It is a trip that wears me down quickly. Two hours riding in a car each way. Then we went shopping at Costco. and that did me in pretty good. Could hardly walk when I got home and unloaded the car. I also took out the garbage.

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Enough whining from me. I have been sporadic on doing my posts, because of still recuperating from my surgery. It has taken forever to get even close to 100%

Hey wait…I am whining again…sorry!!

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My church service online from last Sunday was excellent. I am going to share some thoughts from that service.

The theme was “Don’t get caught up in the moment.”

We sometimes are easily upset and even angry with someone, and say things we later wish we hadn’t said.

I know I have been there. However, I am a guy that realizes my mistake and goes back to the person and apologize. There have been some of those times when they wouldn’t accept my apology,

At that point we need to move on and not dwell on the problem. If we do the other person has won.

We need to realize that we can get swept up in the currents of anger, jealousy, envy, hatred, etc. All those will lead to us drowning in the current.

Don’t drown in your own self pity. I used to have some great pity parties, but no one ever came.

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Often because of the misunderstandings and hurts, we feel powerless, we lose hope. God gives hope to the hopeless. He makes the impossible possible. He brings power to the powerless, and life to that which was dead.

So face each day with hope, and don’t get caught up in the moment.

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Another thing learned from church lasy Sunday:

  1. Let God take the glory. I have really concentrated on saying God did this and that for me. It wasn’t me it was His graciousness.
  2. Never add of subtract from God’s word. So many so called Christians take out of context what they want from a verse in the Bible to fit their own personal beliefs and not Gods.

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How is the world flowing for you? Is it a little overwhelming? Do the days drag on, because you are lost and in mental pain?

Turn to God. He has the world’s biggest shoulders. I can’t imagine trying to face this planet without Him in my life.

Pray to Him about your hurts, and pains. Ask Him to relieve your guilt. Ask Him to give you peace, and love.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all….never, ever, give up!

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We Need to Cling to God’s Promises During Troubling Times

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I told you in my last post that I had surgery on my pacemaker/defibrillator. Things have not gone well since. It was five days ago, and I am still in a lot of pain. It is supposed to be a procedure only and home the same day.

I did that, but the pain will not subside.

Started taking the actual pain killers yesterday and that has helped.

I am probably not supposed to doing this post, but I am determined.

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I cling to God’s promises during troubling times like these. We need to know that God is always there. The God of the mountain that Moses went up to see is also the God that is in the valley where I live.

I can’t imagine anyone trying to take on this world without God. It is a very tough world to be in as it is. Having God there helps me be strong.

He shows me the paths to take to avoid danger, and won’t let me face more than I can handle.

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Are you struggling with health issues right now? Does it seem like God has left you?

Be strong, and know He is with you for your every breath. I keep thinking, “Where would I be if not for God?”

That God is your God too. He loves you. He wants to protect you. He made you in His image. If He has gone that far for you, who can be against you. NO ONE!!

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Sorry this is so short today. Can’t concentrate very much. God be with you!

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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How do We Handle Someone Who Hates Us and is Very Hurtful?

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I am feeling much better today. The side effects of the COVID-19 shot are gone. So many people still haven’t even received their first shot. They need to increase the amount of the shots, and move quickly.

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I had a “run in,” with a Facebook guy today. He was very bitter with life, so I took it on myself to try to cheer him up. He wasn’t very receptive.

He was despondent over the fact that I had the nerve to post these words,

” Have you been in an outhouse all of your life? Want to live in a penthouse? Let God be the throne of your life. He will raise you up out of the muck and mire and build a mansion for you.”

His reply,

I’ve heard that many times before. But I always end up in another outhouse. Can you please get god to explain why he’s not giving me what you keep promising?’

My reply,

“The mansion is in Heaven. Our time on earth for a short time. Enjoy it.”

His reply,

*Very graphic from here on. He became very bitter and attacked me verbally.

“Well, that doesn’t do me any good until I’m &%*#@! dead.

My reply,

“Sorry you feel that way. Hope everything works well for you.”

His reply,

“You are not sorry! You are just another con artist with nothing realistic to say. Everyone should just cry now and do some more dope. Get yourself an emotion meter and stick it up your &%$#! Then wait for God to unplug you.”

His last reply,

“Listen dummy when I say goodbye it doesn’t require any response.

My heart cried out to him. He is in a very dark place, and has allowed this world to overcome him. The only way to free himself from his world is to turn to Jesus.

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This type of person is all too common in our world today. They flounder around; not knowing where they are going, and are lost and struggling.

There needs to be people near him to love him and let him know there is hope. He thinks there is no where to go, and yet it is staring him in the face.

Does God love someone like this? Of course He does. He loves everyone. God doesn’t go checking how good or bad you are, God still loves you.

This man who attacked me, needs to find hope and love, I am asking for you to pray for him. I will not give you his name even though I know it. Pray and God will know who you mean.

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How are you doing? Are you drowning in the muck and mire and, can’t see a way out?

God picked me up from the muck and mire, and got me on the right path. He can do that for you too.

Do not let the dark side overcome you like it has for this Facebook person. Seek the light of Jesus. He will guide you on your path.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Time to Make That Important List of What You are Thankful For

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Well, it is the day after Thanksgiving and I had a very unusual day yesterday. No family. No food cooked. Just my wife and I home alone,

Now that sounds pretty sad, but good things happened. My wife’s sister brought the turkey meal with all the fixings plus two desserts. That was the day before Thanksgiving.

On Thanksgiving. My son and his family brought another full turkey meal and two desserts.

We ate very well for being alone.

We were alone, because we are on lock down, thanks to the virus. I have several health issues that the virus would love to attack.

Later in the day our whole family did connect by Zoom. It certainly wasn’t the same as hugging or sitting together in one room, but we made it fun, and I was really refreshed because of it.

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Too many homes are going through what we are here. Isolated parents, husbands, wives, children, etc.

I forced myself to sit down this morning and come up with the things I am thankful for. It was hard at first, because I wasn’t in a cherry mood.

Here are some from my list:

  1. I am thankful we have Thanksgiving. Many countries don’t have it.
  2. I am thankful for my family. ALL OF THEM!
  3. I am thankful that God has given me another day.
  4. I am thankful I am somewhat able to do pretty much anything.
  5. I am thankful that I made it through several major surgeries.
  6. I am thankful for my friends. They are a pillar of my strength.
  7. I am thankful that Jesus paid the ultimate price for me so I can have eternal life.
  8. I am thankful that many storms may come, but they end.
  9. I am thankful that I live in a country that is free.
  10. I am thankful that God gave me the skills to write,

I could go on. This also isn’t necessarily my top ten list.

After I wrote many things I am thankful for, my outlook on life totally changed. I am one very blessed man.

Very strongly suggest you make your list, and don’t stop at ten. Then keep it somewhere that you can look at it from time to time.

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This going to be a pretty short post today. Sorry about that, but I have my son coming shortly and I want to be available for him 100%.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Be Strong and Don’t Go Through Life Alone

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Have you ever felt alone? I mean like you ae stranded on an island by yourself?

I have some times that has happened to me:

  1. When I was eighteen, I enlisted into the military. I had never been out of my home state. In basic I had two buddies that I had enlisted with and they gave me comfort. But then we were trained and all three of us were deployed to Korea. Still OK until we got there and found out that we were being sent to three different bases. I then learned what loneliness was. It was just me and a whole company of guys I had never met before. Then the alone feeling was overpowering. This eighteen year kid was in a foreign land, and didn’t know anyone. I felt lost. I felt I wanted to be back home with my family.
  2. Much later in my life I felt alone again. It was overwhelming. I couldn’t even tell my wife why I felt alone. It kept growing on me until I was ready to give up. I was driving my Ford Explorer one day, and it all came up all at once. I began sobbing. I couldn’t see where I was going. I turned into a high school parking lot and drove way in the back of it where no one could see. I had actually considered checking of this hotel called earth. That is when I yelled, “God I can’t take this any more!” Then I felt different. I felt the fear got away. I felt fresh air. It seemed like coming out of a coma. It was like God was saying, “It’s about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the way.”

There are other times I have felt alone, but each time now I remember one thing...I AM NOT ALONE! God is with me every step of the way. I could tell you what happened after each time I felt alone. I even wrote an award winning book about it called, Signs of Hope, Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.

There are only one place to get the book if you want it. It is close to a second printing, and there are only about ten copies left. I have those ten copies, and you can only get one by going to www.dougbolton.com and click on books. This way you get an autographed copy directly from me.

I digress.

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Being alone and isolated is our enemy.

We feel we can take on the world on our own. As a result, we distance ourselves from those who know us the best, We come incased in ourselves to push away others.

Remember this… Living the Christian life is not a “me,” thing, it is a “we” thing.

We need someone in our life to hold us accountable. We need a mentor to keep us on the right path.

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In my case it is my own son Greg.

He has grown up to be a real Godly leader. I turn to him whenever I feel sad, depressed, or even alone. He is a no nonsense guy who tells it like it is, and that is exactly what I need.

We have to realize that we can not live for Christ if we are not connected. My son keeps me connected.

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Before you chose your mentor You have to expect the following things to happen:

  1. Transparency: You must be willing to be see as you really are. Many of us of afraid to let anyone knw how we are deep down. We are afraid of rejection.
  2. Choice: You must be willing to change. No one can force you into anything.
  3. Confidentially: Everything you share never goes any further than the two of you.
  4. Commitment: Both of you must agree to a higher standard. The person across the table from you must have a deep desire to see you succeed.
  5. Confrontation: You can’t go easy on each other. Accountability requires confronting the reality of the truth. Face the truth and accept the challenge.
  6. Compass: This is is most important thought. The Word of God must serve as your compass to guide you the rest of your life.

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“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” proverbs 27:17

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So if you feel isolated, find someone to help you. You need them to have a sounding board for you. Be strong!

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…..never, ever, give up!

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